The Ice Harvest

Review by Devin Sullivan
Ah, Harold Ramis, director of Analyze This, Groundhog Day, and the beloved Caddyshack. The man has been putting out good films since 1980 and even after the slightly disappointing Analyze That, he can still knock one out of the park. Not only that, but with The Ice Harvest, Ramis has evolved as a director to bring us a comedy with much more serious tones. In fact, let me say right here, despite the trailers you have seen for The Ice Harvest, this film is not a comedy. This film is a crime-noir, which just happens to be funny, Sin City mixed with Groundhog Day if you will. So don’t buy into the crap that this movie is, “A dark comedy.” That’s just Hollywood trying to grab a larger audience during the holiday season.
And the holidays, are ironically, the main focus of scorn during the movie. The Ice Harvest is a bloody, humorous, and cynical yarn set on Christmas Eve. The film begins with mob-lawyer Charlie Arglist (John Cusack) and mob-run-strip-club owner Vic (Billy Bob Thornton) planning to escape with two-million-dollars that they have just stolen from their employer, mob boss Bill Guerrard (Randy Quaid). However, the duo’s perfect crime soon unravels as they wait for their chance to get out of Wichita, Kansas, the streets of which are covered in freezing rain. What follows is a dark adventure, full of bullets, cynical comments, lots of strip-clubs, and gore. It’s one hell of a cold Christmas.
The film is not for everyone, but there is something for everyone in it. For instance, you have to be impressed with Oliver Platt’s performance as Pete, the new husband of the protagonist’s ex-wife. Oliver Platt steals some serious scenery with this drunken stupor of a character. When he’s not bitching out his father-in-law at Christmas dinner, he is pondering the moral reality of what it is to be a modern man. Of course, all of the characters in this film are full of life – and also happen to be very bad people. There’s not a single worthy person in the whole film, which is really what makes it great. Cusack’s Charlie Arglist isn’t the stereo-typical mobster with a heart of gold. He isn’t struggling to get out of the mob; he just wants to screw it over for his own personal gain. The Ice Harvest is a harsh, almost sarcastic vision of organized crime. It might be too cynical for some audiences, but it’s still an excellent film if you know what you’re getting into. It’s a shame the trailers don’t help you know quite what that is.9/10

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Review by Michael Jaffe

Apologies to our loyal readers for the delay, but there was some miscommunication between the staff here at Mouldy’s Movies. So Harry Potter…’wow’ is the most I can say about this masterwork. The plot as many of you SHOULD know is Harry, now in his fourth year at Hogwarts, is put into the tri-wizard tournament, and is faced with more dangers than ever before. The story, for those big fans of the big misses some major sections, none actually necessary to the plot, but still,, I would have enjoyed seeing the quiditch world cup match.
Some of these dangers for the film unfortunately happen to be the young trio’s inconsistencies in front of the camera. While Daniel Radcliff (Harry), Emma Watson (Hermione) and Rupert Grint (Ron) have improved many times over since their debuts, they still have moments where there acting fails and the stunning cast around them outshines them a billion times over. Speaking of which, the supporting cast, other than new addition Brendan Gleeson as ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody, the new defense against the dark arts teacher, the supporting teachers, such as Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman and Miranda Richardson are in the 2 and a half hour film much less than they should be. Also new the series, director Mike Newell of the great Four Weddings and a Funeral and Donnie Brasco as well as the dreadful Mona Lisa Smile more visual flair than Chris Columbus and even Alfonso Cuarón, awing the entire audience when Harry fights a dragon, or when Harry finally meets his mortal enemy, Lord Voldemort, somewhat underplayed by Ralph Fiennes, the fights all had my jaw open and my knees quaking to see it again on the big screen. The film is the fastest 2 ½ hours I have ever experienced as Harry’s year speeds by, but by the time I walked out of the theatre, I wished there was more. 9/10

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

Review by Michael Jaffe

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang is aptly titled as if it were a pulp novel from the 1950’s. and true to its title, the confusing murder mystery of a plot is overshadowed by the acting and the brilliantly written script. Shane Black, writer of the great Lethal Weapons I, II, III and The Last Boy Scout and of the not so great Lethal Weapon IV and The Long Kiss Goodnight, shows why he was at one point the hottest writer in Hollywood. Kiss Kiss is his directorial debut, directing from his script, and he shows that he has picked up a lot of flair from the directors who he has written for previously. Kiss Kiss provides us what Black does best writing, offbeat buddy cops bantering, and directing, great lighting and cool camera shots. The plot of the film though is a terribly conceived plot involving a NY small time criminal, Harry Lockhart, who accidentally aces an audition and gets flown to LA where he receives detective training from a real private investigator named Gay Perry. And yes, Perry is actually homosexual. The two men accidentally witness a murder, then the body winds up in Harry’s apartment and the plot goes downhill from there. It involves twins and incest and Michelle Monaghan.
Ms. (I hope) Monaghan plays Harmony Faith Lane, was Harry’s best friend in high school and they run in to each other at a bar. By chance Harmony’s sister who she left at home appears, further dragging the plot into a level of silliness that shouldn’t be allowed in Hollywood, unless your Michael Bay of course. The acting is what really saves this movie though, as Robert Downey Jr. playing Harry ahs his best role in years and is hysterical with his quick one-liners and even his mannerisms make you forget that this is Downey. Val Kilmer, one of my personal favorite actors, is Gay Perry and the fact that he is gay never really shows through his incredibly cynical, straight (pun intended) performance. The characters of Harry and Perry play off of each other so well and their dialogue and acting is so good, you never really notice that the film’s story really, REALLY sucks. The acting, writing and even the pretty good, not spectacular directing makes up for the fact that nothing going on makes sense. 7.5/10

Jarhead

Review by Devin Sullivan
I went into this film, with a knowledge of the book it was adapted from, and general understanding of the direction it would take. I came out pleased as hell. However, a lot of people are going to expect political undertones about Iraq, or in the case of some girls I met, Jake Gyllenhaal’s lower half. The audience gets neither, though it comes close to both in some respects.
This may disappoint an audience, and if it does, that is too bad. Because, while this isn’t the best film about war ever made, it is arguably the best film about being a soldier ever made. Taken from the memoirs of real-life Gulf War veteran, Anthony Swofford, we are given a portrait of a man, made into a killer, who hasn’t yet been given a chance to kill. Swofford (played, uncharacteristically, with passion by Gyllenhaal) is trained as a marine, and then recruited as a scout sniper. However, when Swofford and his platoon finally get their war, they are assigned to defend Kuwait in Operation Desert Shield. What this entails for Swofford, and many other American troops in 1990, is over a hundred and fifty days in the desert with nothing to do.
While (as the movie portrays it) this sucked for the troops, it’s a great thing for the audience. Most of the film involves all of the ways that the soldiers cope with their boredom. In fact, the actual war (Operation Desert Storm) doesn’t begin until about two-thirds into the film. With this plot, JARHEAD could have been completely boring, but (under Sam Mendes’ directing skill) it is completely entertaining.
There are so many reasons that this film works, but none of them are more prevalent than the fact that, without a doubt, no one could have directed it as well as Sam Mendes. He’s a badass with an honest eye for emotion, and is easily one of the best things to come out of England in the last ten years. (Not to mention that he’s married to Kate Winslet, which proves his badassery.) Mendes has real skill in molding characters honestly, just look at the other two films he has made (American Beauty, and Road to Perdition). Both films are full of characters that are neither good or bad, they are just people in dramatic situations.
Mendes’ skill translates well into the story of JARHEAD, because the account is true. The characters are full of flaws that don’t necessarily get redeemed, but are never without a sense of humanity. All that analysis aside though, what this really means, is that they do some crazy fucking shit, and it’s all great, crazy fucking shit. It’s pretty hard not to be drawn in by the marines playing football in their hazard-suits (that they need in case of gas attacks) or Jake Gyllenhaal naked drunk in a Santa hat on Christmas Eve. One of the better moments of the film is when the Christmas party is interrupted by what they think is an enemy attack.
With all of these events strung together, the film can be a bit slow at times, but it’s all good stuff. Everything is tied together as one fluent piece of work with a lasting impression. As good as Sam Mendes is, he couldn’t have pulled this off without his cast. The performances in this flick are outstanding. Why Jamie Fox ever got by doing goofy comedies, I’ll never know. Personally, I never thought he was all that funny (Except Booty Call, still his best work). Fox’s roll as Staff Sgt. Sykes steals the show at times, and balances out Gyllenhaal’s Swofford. While Swofford provides the angst ridden emotions of an infantryman in his first war, Staff Sgt. Sykes provides a hardened veteran who loves his career. This view of war by Staff Sgt. Sykes is very believable, and despite a pro-war statement in what can sometimes be an anti-war film, everything he says is for the right reasons. Sykes’s pro-war mentality is expressed to an extent that the audience can understand where he is coming from. This is also another great example of how Mendes’ directing style shines in this film. He makes the characters very specific, and presents their points of view honestly.
And honestly, that directing style, some kick ass performances, and a unique memoir by Anthony Swofford all couple together for a great film here. The CGI effects and polish on the, “burning oil scenes” don’t hurt either. Basically, if you go to see this movie, you’re in for a fun romp through Iraq with some kooky characters, a very honest tale of soldiers at war, and some very interesting military incite all wrapped into one.

8.5/10

The Weatherman

Review by Michael Jaffe

The Weatherman, a film that looked like a quirky, off-beat comedy was exactly what the ads said it would be, but be warned: it might be quirkier than you think! This film’s plot is about a Chicago weatherman, Dave Spritz, who has to deal with a troubled son, an overweight daughter, a ex-wife who has her own problems, a father who has a couple months to live and to top it off he is chasing a big job in New York doing the national weather reports. With all of this stuff happening, the events spiral out of Dave’s control until he hits rock bottom. His redemption will be found or lost in the end depending on his family, which is the real message of the film: family is IT.
Dave is played by the sometimes fabulous, sometimes shitty Nicolas Cage. In Weatherman he is Dave Spritz, for better or worse and he plays this poor asshole to perfection. With two good acting jobs in a row, Lord of War and now Weatherman, I have an impending sense of fear about how terrible Ghost Rider, his next big budget film, will be. He is joined by Michael Caine as his father and Hope Davis as his ex-wife. Both Caine and Davis are always incredible, and this film is no different as they are both mellow, yet so subdued as their offbeat characters that you forget that you are watching actors. Gore Verbinski, famed for Pirates of the Caribbean, returns to what made The Ring great; nothing overplayed, everything, even the extraordinary, all underplayed and mellow. Mr. Verbinski shows a bit of the flair that mad Pirates fun without actually having anything fun happen.
The film does run slow, and is longer than most people will like, but this reviewer appreciates patience in developing a story. Also, many people will not find any of the bazaar and very, very dark dialogue humorous, but for those who can find the humor in death and obesity; this is the film for you. The main problem with this film is how dark it gets, it drains you emotionally and makes you feel bad about the world, but once the lights go up, you feel so much better that your life isn’t as messed up as this weatherman. 8/10

Doom

Review by Michael Jaffe

I have mixed feelings. I love the game, and like the game the plot in the movie is worthless and pointless. In the movie, people die on mars, so an elite group of marines, each with their own personalities go and kill monsters. The film is two halves. The first half, a sneaky thriller with nary a shot to be seen, while the second half is bloody brilliance. A variety of awesome decapitations and fights that come en masse. For fans of shit exploding, the 2nd half is perfect. The first half is too good for the movie, with two much The Rock is charismatic for the first 75% of the movie, but at one point his character loses continuity and becomes good, then bad, then good until you have no idea about what the character is anymore. Karl Urban, a character baddy from such films as Chronicles of Riddick and The Bourne Supremacy, plays the emotionally torn Reaper. But really, who cares about the plot or the acting? I like the 2nd half, but a great half doesn’t make a good whole. 5/10

Mouldy's Movies

Review by Taylor Helgren

As a film aficionado, I have reviewed this website for the past couple of weeks. In these past weeks, I have found myself oscilating between obsessed admiration and unchecked hatred. Mouldy demonstrates a fresh, young perspective; you can almost hear the pimple-faced, afroed, socially inept sixteen-year-old shouting his reviews at the screen as the film flickers past. His reviews are a sensational blend of knowledge, emotion, and vivacity. Despite his eccentric passion and admirable opinions, Mouldy fails miserably as a writer. He shows minimal, if that, attention to grammar. His reviews are cluttered with run-on sentences, misspelled words, and blatant proofreading mistakes. His writing resembles his reviews; eccentric is the only word to describe it. You can never tell if he means their, there, or they're. If his neglect for simple English was his only flaw, he would be a reasonable, readable critic. However, his need to review a grammar book is almost as glaring as his need to hire an editor. He demonstrates a remarkable tendency to incessantly ramble. His failure to distinguish paragraphs indicates that he lacks any ability to separate his thoughts. Courtesy of Mouldy's writing style, his eccentricity degenerates into pure, raging lunacy. My advice to this young critic is to review his high school English text book and to look up "paragraph" in the dictionary. 5.5/10

Serenity

Review by Michael Jaffe

I love Firefly. No question it is one of my favorite shows ever. It combined sci-fi and western film genre’s beautifully with a heavy dose of humor and sorrow. Serenity is just that. When I saw the ship appear on screen for the fist time I felt a chill go up and down my spine, and the rest of the film did not disappoint either. It was like a 2 hour episode of the show. The plot is that Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Mal, and the crew of his firefly class ship pick up some new passengers, little do they know that these are fugitives hiding a great secret. They are then pursued hotly by The Operative, played incredibly by Chiwetel Ejiofor. The crew then in classic fashion joins together and helps the mentally disturbed, yet “gifted” River and her doctor brother Simon Tam. The international governing body, The Alliance, the governing, evil international body, wants River back after Simon rescued her from a research facility. This whole film is just good ole’ fashioned ass kicking fun.

The cast from the show is so used to their characters, they play them so well, especially Nathan Fillion as Mal. Alan Tudyk, better known as Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball is great comic relief as the pilot and husband to first mate Zoe, played by Gina Torres. Morena Baccarin plays “companion,” a polite word for expensive whore, and Jewel Staite plays mechanic Kaylee. Chiwetel Ejiofor is brilliant and perfectly restrained as the operative, the alliance’s assassin believes so strongly in what he is doing, hunting river, is the right thing to do, he sees no flaws in his actions. The writing and directing by Joss Whedon is flawless. It is obvious that he loved this movie and nurtured it with all of his heart. The only problem I have with this work of brilliance is that the theme song from the show doesn’t play during the opening credits. 10/10

Domino

Review by Michael Jaffe

Her name is Domino Harvey and she was a bounty hunter. That is the movie. The story is about how Domino, played by Keira Knightly, a spoiled, rich girl from Beverly Hills who is bored with her life and hates everything. She then by chance answers an ad for bounty hunter training. She then joins with Ed Mosby, Mickey Rourke, and Choco, Edgar Martinez, and becomes a bounty hunting trio. The three work for a bondsman, played by Delroy Lindo, who comes up with a scheme to get $300,000 from a wealthy casino owner. He uses the three bounty hunters and their Afghani driver Alf to steal $10 million, and then return it with the three hundred grand as a finders fee. Things of course go very wrong with the mafia, three loud black women, a gay Puerto Rican man and a one armed bus driver.

Tony Scott gets a lot of crap for his fast cuts and lighting techniques, but I feel that they are fine, not bad, not good, but keep the viewer on their toes. Man on Fire I felt was one of the best films of the last couple of years, and while Denzel carried that movie, the only person in Domino who could carry this movie was Mickey Rourke and the special came person. The cameo I wont give a way because the surprise was the highlight of the film, but Rourke was totally one dimensional. I have been a huge fan of all of his work, and I love that gritty, often comic presence to films, but Ed was so one dimensional of a tough guy character, even Mickey can’t bring sympathy to the character. Knightly, also gives a good, solid performance. The whole film is about her, so her and her body double are on screen 90% of the time. The character of Domino was confusing, as she is sometimes gritty tough broad, other times the sweetest, kindest person in the world. The total lack of continuity in her character I disliked. Also, about ¾ of the way through the movie, she becomes the leader of their trio, not the veteran Ed. Why she would be allowed in charge left me in the theatre actually asking what the heck was going on. The writing by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko was Awesome) is OK, nothing special.

I feel the film as a whole is a mess of sloppy dialogue and bad characters. The acting is OK, and the direction if above average, but they couldn’t save this mess. If this movie was supposed to be the least bit believable, not as many buildings in the middle of Las Vegas would explode. I wanted to love this movie, but the numerous flaws, the way-to-long running time, and the twisted plots make me feel very down on the whole movie. God bless awesome cameos. 6/10

Lord of War

Review by Michael Jaffe

While Andrew Niccol’s visual styling has always since Gattaca been one of the most polished looks in Hollywood, dollar for dollar, and LoW is no different. The film is a bizarre mix of offbeat humor, intense violence and preaching about how guns are bad, while at the same time managing to keep a distinct and engaging visual style. The story is good, supposedly based on a couple of real life gun runners actual stories, about Yuri Orlov and his rise from New York as a Ukrainian immigrant through him struggling through the 80s mostly supplying Africa until the fall of the U.S.S.R.. When the soviets fall, all their extra weapons flood the market with Yuri getting an upper hand and taking all the guns. Yuri then struggles with the success of being the #1 arms dealer in the world fighting with everyone from African lords-of-war to rival arms dealers to his trophy wife to his drug addled younger brother. Nicholas Cage turns in one of his best performances in a while, as this film may appear to be a big budget action flick, but at its heart and its bottom line is a smaller film. Cage, once known as a real actor, now has this reputation as a big budget action guy with The Rock, Windtalkers and Gone in 60 Seconds, began his redeption to a real actor with the great Adaptation and Ridley Scott’s underappreciated Matchstick Men but in LoW he is given the opportunity to play a humanized Satan in an action film, using his charisma to fully display all the flaws of Yuri. The rest of the cast, Jared Leto, Ethan Hawke, Bridget Moynahan and Ian Holm is just background all giving way to Cage who takes the primary role with vigor. The supporting cast, while very talented play basic characters with no depth so it could be said that those characters could be played by anyone. The film also has a tendency to run rather unevenly. At times, the film is a dramedy with some explosions and very well written dialogue other times it looks like a European art film, with slow pan shots of people with blank expressions and no talking at all. While they would appear to balance each other out, they simply annoy as during the slow parts, you wish something would just blow up. While the performances, especially Cage stand out and the film looks incredible of celluloid, the unevenness and the lack of depth for the supporting characters leaves you wishing for something more. This film goes under the listing of “If only…” as the whole film is a big what if. 7/10

Infernal Affairs

Review by Michael Jaffe

I know this review isn’t of a recent release, but I haven’t been to the theatre in a while with school starting, so I decided to write a review of one of my favorite films from this century. In 2002, I rented Infernal Affairs because it had been getting a big buzz because of all the money it was making in Hong Kong. The movie is without a doubt, the slickest film I have ever seen, and unlike many American films that try to be slick, and are; this film uses the style and the helicopter shots to enhance the story as a whole. In the film Eye see You, Sly Stallone does not make such a good film with the camera slides and glides. The plot is straightforward, but it is executed to the point where if you blink you miss something and get confused. A mole for the police in the mob, Chan Yan, brilliantly underplayed by Tony Leung Chiu Wai, has been undercover for over a decade. His counterpart Lau Ming, acted by Andy Lau with his usual glee, is a mole for the Mob in the police force. The movie starts with a basic intro of how they each got in their positions with a series of flashes to who is who. We see Sam, played viciously by comedian Eric Tsang, welcoming the new recruits, Lau is among them. We also see SP Wong, played by Hong Kong film legend Anthony Wong, interviewing a young Chan. The plot then goes to when the men are grown and deep undercover. When one of Sam’s drug deals goes wrong, both sides discover they each have moles. Chan and Lau are assigned by their undercover employers to fish out the mole. This intense game of cat and mouse goes until the exciting surprise rooftop face-off to conclude the film. Andrew Lau’s direction, no relation to Andy Lau, covers the basic plot, but keeps the pace moving quickly, but you still never feel rushed, the action just flows from scene to scene. The suspense is at most times taught; even when the film tends to wander off just to add frames to the roll, you are still wondering what will happen. It is not a John Woo shooter for those who think of the blaze of guns in all Hong Kong films, nor is it one of Wong Kar-Wai’s slow romance films, but it blends a bit of both worlds while at the same time creating its own, new genre of Hong Kong thriller. The constant tension is what keeps this well scripted, incredibly acted and sharply directed film in place as one of the best films ever to come out of Hong Kong. 9/10

High Tension

Review By Michael Jaffe

This film was so fucking awesome and French and a rip off of 70s horror films, that it almost didn’t work. The plot is basic: a woman, Marie, and her friend go off into the French country side and in the middle of the night are attacked by a nameless guy in a truck who carries a shaving blade and is real creative in how he kills the family who lives in the house. Marie hides for a while and then when her friend is kidnapped by the psycho guy and then chases after them. The plot, as you can tell is thin, and the film isn’t very long, but the violence is a plenty as is the gore. The french version originally landed an NC-17 rating here in the states, and the version in theatres now has been cut down to an R rating, although it was still pretty gory. The acting is fine and the direction is cool. Alexandra Aja is obviously a big fan of 1970s american horror films, but he is still french and the french are known for art films and losing wars, and this flick is no war. The film is not so subtle, like an art film should be, but it also is gritty and violent. I cant really think of a negative of this film, but as far as being another ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, the original, it just lacks that ‘Pizzaz’ that scares the bejesus out of you. This film made you hold your breath once and a while and even had a plot twist, but just cant go balls out, and that might be the american censorship, but I give this film a 7/10 as it is one of the best films of its genre in the last half decade, but cant compete with the classics.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

This film before its release received loads of attention because of Brad Pitt’s affair and what not with Angelina Jolie. But to look past all the celebrity hubbub, the film had two talented stars, a very good director in Doug Liman and Vince Vaughn. The people who were involved all knew what they were doing. Now, moving to the present tense, the film is about two married people who turn out to be assassins working for competing agencies. The agencies that they work for are not talked about and remain a vague reference throughout the film. The plot is ridiculous and a miserable adaptation of “Prizzi’s Honor,” a great film with Jack Nicholson and directed by John Huston. The first half of the actual film is good, quick on its feet and fairly funny as Mr. and Mrs. Smith live their mundane lives. The dialogue is funny and Pitt and Jolie excel at the word play and dialogue. Then, as they find out each other’s identities it becomes an action comedy, which also is pretty good with Pitt and Jolie fighting and making fun of each other with a lot of explosions. Then the third act comes and the flick goes down an incomprehensible tunnel of sex and more explosions. The film starts going downhill directly after a very well shot car chase where Mr. and Mrs. trade insults while revealing their past lies that they kept for the ‘five or six’ years of their marriage. When they band together to fight their agencies, the plot becomes garbage and worthless. If the third part of the film was to receive a grade on its own, I would give it a 4/10. as far as the films acting goes Pitt and Jolie show their charm and their screen presences are large, but neither of them is special. Pitt is his witty self, the same guy he was in ‘Ocean’s 11’ and Jolie is just having fun, not quite in ‘Tomb Raider’ mode, but much more lighthearted. The best actor in the film is Vince Vaughn who is his usual self, and his usual self is funny, offbeat and pretty ridiculous. Director Doug Liman shows a balance of his ‘Go’ comedy and his ‘Bourne Identity’ gritty action, but rather that take the best of each, he merely goes for the middle-best of each film, which is still pretty good as far as many directors go. The film was very good for the first two thirds, and miserable for the last third, so overall this film gets a 6.5/10.

Star Wars Episode III:Revenge of the Sith

Review by Michael Jaffe

Ok, finally. after waiting my entire life i have seen RotS and i have to say...SHIT! that was a good and a bad shit. the fighting scenes and the visual stylings of lucas have only gotten better as he has aged. so the plot everybody should have figured out over the course we know anakin must go to the dark side, but why did it happen like it did in the film? over the course of 20 minutes, we see anakin show devotion and love to padme, his wife, and then he kills 20 or so younglings at the order of the emperor who has recruited him. the change is provoked because anakin dreams padme dying during childberth and then the emperor or Darth Sidius plays off of this fear and promises that if anakin goes to the dark side, he can save her. but right after this is said anakin kills **** ***** and then cries about it. THEN he goes and kills the younglings and alot more people. this whole montage, an art lucas has refined to perfection almost, i sat there and just kept muttering "what the f*ck?" ok, so the plot had to go this way somehow. ok, the script, always one of lucas's weak points, did nothing to change that as the characters muttered cliche lines over and over again. the one scenes where the dialogue was exceptable was the scenes between the emperor and anakin, which it turns out were written by someone else. ok, the acting of most was fairly good, especially ewan mcgregor who now is playing alec guiness to perfection rather than obi-wan, which is great as obi wan IS alec guiness. natalie portman, recently nominated for an oscar for 'closer', turns in one of the worst performances i have ever witnessed muttering such lines as "hold me like you did on the lake on naboo when all we had was love" with the emotion of dead wood. albeit, the writing brought her down, but dear god, the sooner she got off the screen the happier i was because that usually meant more fighting. hayden christiansen is still one of the poorest actors in this series, and while he does sport a new hair cut, his childish, sulking ways to not. who would have expected 'the chosen one' to sulk his way to the dark side? ok, now the best part of this film far and above was the fights. with so many lightsaber battles including general greivous who ruled the 'clone wars' animated series, busts a move with his FOUR ARMS, each with a lightsaber. filthy, thats all that can describe it, filthy. so was the film good? it was no 'goodfellas' but the film was better visually than 'the aviator,' the film i though should have won best picture last year. so a 8/10 is merited on the back of general grievous and the comedy. ok, so "hold me like you did on the lake on naboo when all we had was love" wasnt suppsed to be a comedic line, but...

Layer Cake

This is one of those movies that is hard to classify. The plot is scattered all over the place, it revolves around one man, xxxx as his name is not given, played by Daniel Craig who is trying to retire from the cocaine business but before he does, he must find his boss's friends daughter who dissapeared. xxxx must also finish a massive drug deal with a loud mouth jackass named 'the duke.' later it is discovered that the duke stole these drugs so xxxx must also now compete with a serbian assassin sent to kill him because the people the duke stole from thought he was working for xxxx. this film was obviously adapted for the screen by the person who wrote the book because there was so much packed into this two hour affair that it was a blur of mayhem. the director, mathew vaughn in his first directing gig after producing the guy ritchie films 'snatch' and 'lock stock and two smoking barrells' shows the flash of his mate ritchie with numerous fancy transitions and camera affects but cant convey this story into a workable plot as it would likely work well as a six hour mini series on the BBC. the actors work well together, mr. craig's star is rising as he is funny and offbeat in his role as xxxx, the witty drug dealer. colm meany and george harris two UK film regulars team in many scenes to make people crack up at the ridiculusness of their scenes together. michael gambon appears extremely over tanned as the friend of xxxx's boss who has had his daughter kidnapped. he is his usual bizaar self as a business man who is so money driven, the fact that his daughter has been kidnapped seems minute compared to his desire to make a deal for the duke's drugs. in my opinion though, as a man, the beyond belief beauty of sienna miller is the best part of the movie as she is stripping in the bathroom, xxxx is kidnapped, a hysterical scene that is also one where i said 'NOOOOO!' to myself at missing an opportunity to see more of ms. miller. the movie also contains many bit roles being played by regulars in mr. ritchies movies including dexter fletcher who played soap in 'lock stock.' this film on a whole was difficult to take in all at once, which is why it didnt meet my expectations but the flash and skill of mr. vaugh and the out of place scenes where i found my self laughing hard out loud saved this film. one of the better films i have seen all year, up ther with star wars. (review coming soon!) overall, a 8.5/10

Kicking & Screaming

By Michael Jaffe
Well, I think Will Ferrell cant not be funny. in a movie with a run of he mill plot, and stereotypical characters, Mr. Ferrell just acts as random as ever, except now he has Mike Ditka and Robert Duvall to back him up. Ditka actually competes with Ferrell as the best character in the flick uterring such classic lines as "new gameplan: Get the ball to the Italians!" based on the fact that no actual talent went into making this movie. the script is bland and the direction is nothing special from Jesse Dylan, director of 'American Wedding' obviously is highly skilled at letting his actors improv as the Stiff-meister apparently did in 'AW' and as Frank the Tank did in this little ditty. The story of a weak willed man who has a competetive father, the son then becomes coach of a competing youth league soccer team who start terrible but with the acquisition of two italians who work at the butcher shop, the team immeadeatly becomes incredible and the teams eventually meet in the championship. the kids in the movie are run of the mill, with the italians not speaking much english and their is the fat kid and the stupid jokster. the best kid though was Byun-Sun or "Bing Bong" as Ditka calls him. byun-sun's parents are two lesbians and the worlds smallest 9 yr. old just is funny for no apparent reason except that he is small and foreign. this film was absolutly nothing special, but the cast adlibbed it self to a decent kid friendly comedy.
7/10 and only because of Ditka, frank the tank (ferrell) and little bing bong

Mindhunters

Review by Michael Jaffe

I was so extremely angry with Dimension Studio after they pushed my man LL Cool J's new flick back over a year in January 2004 until now. When the film was first set to be released I cleared a saurday to see it. When the film was pushed back, I went and saw a screening any way. How I did this is confidential, but I can tell you I enjoyedthis film more than any other Renny Harlin Film. It had good actors, a decent mystery plot and best of all, alot of real hokey but awesome deaths. Christian Slater gives one of his worst performances ever, and Val Kilmer mails it in, but LL is as cool as ever and Johnny Lee Miller shows why his career is on the rise putting his all into what could've been a dreadful flick. The director, Mr. Harlin has been responsible for some of the worst films of all time, and this could've been one of those flicks, but Wayne Kramer provides a solid, no where near very good, but one that allows the actors to do their things and allows Mr. Harlin to do one of the few things he knows how to do: kill people in creative ways. Wayne Kramer, who's other 'main stream' film was 'The Cooler,' which was a quirky, off-beat romantic comedy, so the versatility he displays is astonishing. This film in truth shocked the hell out of me. I sat and watched a film that was more like 'Deep Blue Sea,' another of Mr. Harlin's films I enjoyed, than 'Cut Throat Island' or 'Exorcist: Beginning' both films I classify as toxic waste that should never be viewed by any hunam being with a working brain. Overall, this is a popcorn flick for fans of violence and a sneaky mystery plot that doesn't require a ton of thinking 6.5/10

Crash(2005)

Review by Devin Sullivan

After penning Million Dollar Baby, Paul Haggis makes his directorial debut with CRASH. This is one of the most graceful flicks I've seen all year. The pacing, the performances, the writing are all very graceful, especially considering the material. Haggis tackles the issues of race, class, and American solitude through the lives of more than a dozen characters in the city of Las Angeles. Not only does he pull off the juggling act with his characters, but he weaves a political/racial message into the mix as well. Not once while watching the film did I find Haggis' message to be preachy or contrived either. The characters presented all had depth to them, and Haggis did not seem to resort to any stereo types. Even Matt Dillon's racist LAPD officer had empathetic sides to him, as he struggled to help his dying father. There are several outstanding, and Oscar worthy, performances in this film, including Don Cheadle's emotionally troubled detective taking care of his drug-addicted mother. However, I found that the best performances in this film came from the unknowns. Michael Pena (Million Dollar Baby, and United States of Leland) stood out most for me in this ensemble cast. Playing a Hispanic locksmith, Pena's character is probably the most sympathetic of the film, but is also key to one of its best sequences. Another of his better scenes involves him and his daughter, who has hid under her bed in fear of what sounds like a gun, and displays Pena's range as an actor. Another notable performance is newcomer's Chris "Ludacris" Bridges work as a young, car jacking, black man who feels that he is profiled by everyone around him. While some of the characters in CRASH carry more weight than others, the ensemble cast, and engaging story line make for one of the more impressive dramas that I have seen in a while. Haggis shows that despite his humble beginnings, (Co creator of Walker Texas Ranger) he has visual style and a real talent for story telling, not to mention balls. 8.5/10

Kingdom of Heaven

I have just seen "KoH' and I must say that I was suprised with how much I thouroughly enjoyed this little flick. Ok, I shouldn't say 'little' as it was one of the largest scale movies that I have ever seen. The film was in noway 'Gladiator' as it was in fact much, much better. The film was artfully done with actual dialogue and character development. Some people may dismiss it, but if you step back, you will see that Ridley Scott has made a political statement, the only 'bad guys' in religion are the extremists who wish to kill different sects, and also to make a massive war film that shows the downside of reaping massive glory from defeating another side. This film is the first film I have seen this year that truly looks like an Oscar contender. As for scrawny little Orlando Bloom, as an actor he actually holds up with giant film persona's Liam Neeson and Jeremy Irons. While Mr. Bloom doesn't quite look the part of a crusader, he tries his best and hits all of the right spots.
This film gets 8.5/10 for combining story with action, historical truth and a message that we all must make our own peace with God.